My Good Start

So far so good. This semester has been fantastic. From academics, to hobbies, to my house and house mates, every aspect has worked out great thus far. In my classes I'm learning various interesting materials such as: how acting works and relates to specific settings, how to look at films and understand what works and what doesn't, how to edit and revise writing more efficiently, how to look at writing as a technology and how to understand conceptual problems and philosophies within writing. I finished reading "Waldon", by David Henry Thoreau, and I started "Collapse" by Jared Diamond. I love my house and the people in it. We've had several nights of get togethers, whether they be movie nights or drinking nights, all joyous.

For my editing and revising class I'm supposed to make a presentation on plot. So I wrote, directed and acted in a short film. The whole process was amazing. I had so much fun discussing camera idea's and just acting with my friends. I definitely know I want to be involved with film after undergrad.

I'm starting to get excited for my Quebec trip that is approaching. I thoroughly enjoyed Quebec over four years ago, and I cannot wait to return. I'm going with Paul, my freshman roommate, who studies in Plattsburg now. I'm also going to a Coldplay concert a few weeks after my Quebec trip. So, I have two exciting excursions on the docket. Last, I'm planning an exciting spring break trip to Dallas and hopefully LA. I want to see my friend, Danny (Dallas), and Brittany LA. So I have lots to anticipate not to mention applying and visiting Grad schools.

Back to School

The time has come. haha. I'm back at school in my house, the Leadership House and I'm having a good time already. Classes start today and I'm extra happy because I've changed my schedule around some. Instead of environmental ethics, I'm taking aesthetics of film and instead of grammar, I'm taking acting. Although I'm taking classes that I enjoy and should have an easy time completing, I'm also taking Arabic and editing and revising, which should be more difficult. So, overall my semester shouldn't be bad at all just a little difficult at some times studying a new language.

My house is located right in the middle of campus and ten people reside. It's called the Leadership House and it's an application based residence, which requires some community service to be accepted. So far, in four days, everything and everybody has been wonderful and I'm looking forward to the year living here.

My transition from home to school was rather easy because I was on vacation the week before I left to come here to school. So I spent a lot of time with my family and friends before my departure. I was a little happy to leave home just because my family is a little on edge with the usual loathing, money and whatever else may piss one another off.

I've enjoyed writing for my film blog thus far. It may be difficult to have consistent new material with classes and work coming into full swing, but regardless I'm going to keep working at it. I found the writing to be more difficult than I thought. Films, just like books or any other form of entertainment, have so many intangibles that it's hard to remember everything that may matter or give me a good/bad impression.

Anyways...

hopefully, I'll keep up with the writing.
Adios

My new blog

No, no, no, I am not discontinuing the Concealed Manifesto, but I am starting a new blog. I love films. LOVE. All I think about during the day times are films that I want to see and ideas for films that I want to write. Crazy. So I decided to check out wordpress, a prominent blog facilitating site, and created the new blog, filmphilip.wordpress.com. I don't have any material or relevant posts up but I do have an intro post to explain the mission of the blog. I have to keep writing more and more in order to stay on edge and I think I can handle two blogs at once, especially since this blog and flimphilip are completely different in content. This blog is more to explain life as I see it, and the film blog is to break down current movies through my paradigm.

I see my new blog as an opportunity to start harnessing my view on film to inspire my own ideas, to refine my ideas, make them plausible and beautiful. I am a storyteller at heart. Even though I have a lot to learn, hopefully this new blog will nudge me along faster.

In other news, I'm done with work (woo hoo) and tomorrow I leave for the second annual Bolton vacation up in Old Forge. Also, in two weeks I will be heading back to Cortland to start my last year of undergraduate studies AHHHHHHH. Life is going so fast right now I can't wait to go on vacation and just slow things down, relax, unplug, revitalize my muse, so that I can really focus and take my time deciding what I want to do after I graduate. The next few months may very well decided the rest of my life. Crazy right? My plans have changed since this time last year. Last year I was seriously considering Columbia for journalism and now I want to put a hold on that career and try Northwestern for stage and screen writing. Money is hard to come by in these fields and so I'd rather try while I'm young and possibly make it. But as Enya sings "only time" will tell.

My Purple Rain

Yesterday was a hell of a day. I started out working for some people, you know just making some money. I came home later hyped up for the Irish Festival. As you may know I'm mostly Irish with some other British ancestry sprinkled in the mix. So, I drove to the Irish festival by myself and just enjoyed some beers and music, which was phenomenal. I haven't ever heard a live Irish band before so it was a very pleasant treat.

I stayed around the Irish fest for a few hours before planning to meet up with some friends at the infamous Albany St. Cafe. I must dedicate this post to one of those friends I met with because one she actually reads this haha and two she was mad that she only received a single sentence in a previous post. Anyways so I pick up my best friend's girlfriend, Sarah, and head to Albany St. to meet up with Brianna and her cousin. Brianna is the girl that I technically met at gas station in Herkimer, but formally met at Albany St. She's really nice and easy to talk to and we carpooled to the boilermaker. I've basically known her for three weeks, but she was going out because she's moving to Boston, in fact she's there as I write.

While at Albany St. we just chilled had a bunch of drinks and talked. Eventually Sarah became tired so I took her home and returned to the two women. Brianna and I decided to go to Denny's but her cousin wasn't interested so we drove her home, but we went in for a little while. And the most amazing thing happened. I was in the euphoric stage of drunkenness and Brianna's cousin's mom put on some Prince, some Purple Rain to be exact. Wow... do I love that song. It's especially amazing when you are drunk and with other people who enjoy just as much. After the song ended and my euphoria was at an incredible high, I watched Brianna and her cousin rock out to some music I never heard before and I just watched them while I had one of those high moments in life where nothing matters and life is so simple and blissful. Soon after the music session Brianna and I pulled out to go to Denny's mmmm... We had some food and some funny drunk conversations then proceeded to her house at an incredible hour of the morning. We just cuddled on a box spring and slept for I think a couple hours until our alcohol wore off and my arm lost all circulation and we realized we are sleeping on a box haha.

The whole night was just so random and enjoyable. I loved it. I was just writing in the last post about missing intimacy and I found a small dab and had a lot of fun all in the same day. Ironically, today I went to the Irish fest with my sisters and they basically hated it and there was no inkling of a good day at all. In fact it has rained all afternoon and I've been on my computer for about four hours straight. I feel so lazy. But, I look outside and all I can see is my Purple Rain. :)

My Midnight Thoughts

I just woke up after passing out at about 7pm. My job gets to me a little more now that we've shifted to four, ten hour days instead of five, eight hour days. It's the third week in July and I've thought about where I was this time last year. Last year seemed more excited and organized. I'll elaborate. Last year I took more trips. One to see Paul, former roommate and two to see Billy/Diana, roommate/girl I was interested in. I definitely had a better schedule down last year. I would come home from work, workout, eat, get in bed, read or write, watch some scrubs and pass out. This year everything is much more haphazard in all aspects. My personal life, my social life, my sleeping habits, everything. I don't really feel confused just not as on track as last year. Although, I took a trip out to Rome, NY for my cousins performance and then went back to his place for a night of drinking in Syracuse, that has been the extent of my summer. Last year I only drank a few times and I feel like the reason I drank so much this year is because I hate my job and there is nothing else to do. Last year I had to deep interests in two women, but obviously neither panned out. This year, one of last year's interests still remains but I feel so pessimistic that I don't even want to think about any romantic notions at all. I guess I imagined myself always being in a relationship because I love intimacy and sharing things. Intimacy is the only thing friends cannot really fulfill and that's what I'm starting to miss the most. Just laying in bed, cuddling, playing, walks, and kisses. I've started to look around me and look at my best friend who has been in a six year relationship and couldn't function normally if he were ever single and my cousin who has been in about 10-15 relationships in the last year alone and then me who has had plenty of opportunities in the past three years, but I just want to make myself the most happy by choosing and sticking with the best. The last three years I've been in the phase where if I hang out with a girl a few times then I usually know within those few days if I would want to spend more time with them. About 90% of the time the answer is no. haha. Sometimes I wonder if I just push too many people away by looking for something better, but I believe I'll just end up happier.

I have one more year of school left, at least of undergraduate school. Where will I go after that? Will I become a successful writer or will I just steer back into some sort of mainstream office job. Can I write a screenplay that some big company will pay big bucks for? Or will the name Philip Bolton Jr, not be big enough to help my work slid through. What if I only live a short time? A few years or months? What can I accomplish in that time? What kind of legacy could I leave for my sisters? Would my sisters follow a similar path that I have taken? What do I want in life? What kind of people do I want to surround myself with? Will I have children? And would I be a good father? Would my son learn to be respectful, kind and gentle? Would my daughter learn that she could do whatever she wanted?

All these questions are constantly buzzing through my head all the time. No focus or reason to them, they just come and go. Sometimes I assume the answers and sometimes I just know the answers. Nonetheless, these are the deepest type of thoughts I have on a weekly basis. These are the general questions I find myself deep in. I explore the answers only in imagination and perhaps that's all I really need to do in order to get the answers I desire.